Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between
the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
- Maya Angelou

Just a few days ago, I got an audio CD copy of our major concert last March 12, 2005. Being the perfectionist that I am, I listened to every song that I sang and took note of every note. I was glad that I was able to get most of them right! However, of all the songs I sang in the concert (and I can also proudly say that of all the songs I heard on the CD), I would have to say that the best for me was my duet with Cathy. We sang Kyla and Gary V.'s version of Sana Maulit Muli. Though my other songs sounded ok, this song was different because everytime I would listen to it, I usually have the chills and goosebumps. The song was heartfelt and our interpretation emphasized the strong emotions portrayed in the song. It was as if the song was our story. Perhaps, this quote would be appropriate to what I felt about this song:

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things
to the heart.
- Pablo Casals

Upon hearing the song, I texted Cathy at once and thanked her because I believe that the song wouldn't have been successful without her angelic voice. After "flattering" each other through text, I told her about my feelings whenever I hear the song. I told her about my constant desire to sing and be on stage. Whenever I get on stage, hit the notes, and hear the applause of the crowd, I always get this unexplainable feeling of joy. There isn't a day that would pass where I wasn't able to hum a tune. Even a bad cold or a sore throat can't stop me. I even sing when I cry. Singing has become my passion and obsession. And yet, I'm confused. Soon I will be graduating and a few months after that, I will be taking the board exams. Though I know that I have a good chance of getting a good and well-paying job after graduation, I'm not quite sure if I will feel the same sense of fulfillment in that work as the one I feel everytime I sing. Now, I'm so confused. After sharing this with her, she sent me this text message:

"Did you know that when we go to heaven, all we are left to do there is to worship God in different ways. Satin siyempre through singing. Malay mo God has instored for you a special place in heaven which is to lead other Christians in worship. Earth is just a training ground for eternity. All we have to do is to think BIG. Jigs, God, sees your heart. He knows your desires because he was the one who put that desire in you. Seek him and slowly, in time, He'll reveal to you His purpose. Baka nga music."

That text message almost left me in tears. That moment, God spoke to me and Cathy was His instrument. Yes, that message gave me the answer or at least gave me a clue on the question that has bothered me for quite some time. God is the source of this desire and I know that in due time, I will find his real purpose for me. Everything shall happen in His time. In the meantime, I am determined to finish my studies and to pass the board exams after which I plan to explore if I can establish a singing career. If it works then well and good. If it doesn't then I will accept it and explore my other capabilities. For now, I am doing my best in my studies and I also allot a certain time each day to rehearse. After all, it is only right that I develop this God-given talent.

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have
hear below.
- Joseph Addison